Set Backs

So my divorce is extremely close to the end. I've been doing remarkably well in my opinion in handling the end of my marriage. It's been a very long time in my life trying to convince my heart and mind that it's over and that the one person I loved unconditionally for 17 years didn't love me, doesn't want me and has chosen a new person to continue his life with. It's been horrible and sad, but, somehow, by the grace of God and with the help of friends, I've been getting used to not having him as a regular part of my life. Then, out of absolutely nowhere, late Wednesday night (or should I say early Thursday morning) he sends me a text and an email. These have nothing to do with our children and I won't quote them here at this time. Well ever since I read them, I am having anxiety attacks again. I am having a very difficult time getting through my days. I'm certainly not where I was when I first learned of the dirty whore, but I'm definitely set back in my healing. He still hasn't spoken to me since August, and that dirty whore still likes to throw their relationship in my face, so I know that it's over, but still I'm having dreams about him again and the anxiety while I am awake. Pray for me to get strong again. We go to mediation next week, and I can't be all weepy and sad then.