The Day Before My Birthday

Yesterday Brian and I had a fight and then he headed off to Torch Lake for a wedding. That was fine. I ended up having the best night sleep since he first told me he wanted a divorce. Something about him not being at a sleepover with his girlfriend makes my mind rest and sleep. When he's in town and at his sleepovers, my mind stays up the entire night until he comes home. Some days I think it would be so much easier if he would just move out, but he won't. So, until the house gets put up for sale and it finally sells, I'll just be full of sleepless nights. Anyway, it was nice to sleep well for a change. Even my kids slept really well. There were no screams or shouts in the night last night!

This evening my mom hired my niece Sabrina to babysit so she could take me out. We got manicures and pedicures, dinner at Red Lobster and we went to see the movie Knocked Up. Of course it was my first time going to Red Lobster since Brian told me about the divorce and he and I have had many birthday dinners and just regular dinner dates there over the years. I read somewhere that the first time I go somewhere without him is the hardest and it will get easier in time, so I chose the restaurant. It's always been one of my favorites since before I knew him. I was a bit sad, but I guess that comes with the territory.

Tomorrow (or today since it is 12:19 a.m.) is my birthday. I am going to spend the morning time with my girls and then in the evening I"m going out with my sister Dawn and my friend Kim. I hope I can keep up my happy face! It's my first birthday in 17 years without Brian. But again, the first is the hardest, so it should be better from hear on out!